and now we've given kids the technology to do that with. so the terrible downside of the internet is that now kids are spending time with each other - >> not even in the presence of each other. >> that's exactly the point, because, you see, that's an attachment dynamic. one of the basic ways that people attach to each other is to want to be with the people that you want to connect with. so when kids spend time with each other, it's not a behavior problem; it's a sign that their relationships have been skewed towards the peer group. and that's why it's so difficult to peel them off their computers, because their desperation is to connect with the people that they're trying to attach to. and that's no longer us, as the adults, as the parents in their life. >> so how do you change this dynamic? >> well, first we have to recognize its manifestations. and so, we have to recognize that whenever the child doesn't look adults in the eye anymore, when the child wants to be always on the skype or the cell phone or twittering or emailing or msm messen